an ever dancing heart

New blog

2010-05-19T22:30:00.002-04:00

So for those of you who follow this blog.... well, you probably don't anymore, seeing as i never do anything with it! haha...
but anyway - in case you're interested, i started a new blog:
http://emilymacd.blogspot.com/

i def update that one a whole lot more and you can keep up with my life here in nashville :)

ok... that's all - check it out! :)

Ready

2009-12-01T22:27:00.000-05:00

I'm so ready to get married.

I'm not going to say an 11 month engagement was a bad idea or the wrong thing to do - because I don't believe it was, it's been great for many reasons - but the bottom line is I'm ready to be married.

The anticipation is killing me...
I feel like I'm being pushed ahead and yet pulled back right now... caught in between two different lives. I've left the life of being single, living at home, just hanging out and doing my own thing. Yet, I haven't reached the life that's about to be mine, a life of being married, sharing a home with the love of my life and living life with him.
I'm somewhere in between... just chilling.

I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing. I can't stand for my life for the next two months to just be planning a wedding and going to and from work. I feel like I should be doing something else. But all I want to do is be married and be able to see Barry every day.

I feel like if I get real involved with anything over these two months it will be pointless because I'm moving 300 miles away....
So I continue to be stuck in between my two different lives ...
Just working and wedding planning and wishing I wasn't stuck.

I guess I should start praying harder about what God wants me to do these two months... because if anyone knows - it's Him :)

chilling in florida

2009-09-25T13:49:00.002-04:00

Outside My Window: is a big tall palm tree and an ocean full of waves :)

I am thinking about: how good a non-hotel bed will feel tomorrow night! how blessed i am that barry is mine! that a shower would probably make my headache go away. what the lyrics to the music i'm listening to mean. that i need to pack up my stuff to head to nashville:)

I am thankful for: life! lessons learned.... laughter... ocean beauty.... food ;).... the knowledge that everything works out for good for those who love the Lord

From the kitchen: there are a bunch of noises of my mom juicing, cleaning, and doing her thing in there... also a bunch of random food we've collected over vacation

I am wearing: my favorite gym crops and a t-shirt

I am creating: working on writings, photos, etc... my usual artsy fartsy stuff ;)

I am going to: do something nice for myself tonight...hoping it'll make me feel better

I am reading: the Bible and mere christianity

I am hoping: that the drive tomorrow will go super fast...

I am hearing: music through one ear with an earpiece in it and the noises of my family watching tv through the other ear

Around the house: it's very quiet back at home (hopefully ;).... here in the hotel room it's very messy! lol!

One of my favorite things is: seeing someone's face light up when they're super excited to see me and then hugging me tightly :)

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week: work on a few wedding details with my sweetheart, be used by God, love my future husband :)

tore our dresses, stained our shirts...

2009-09-24T01:25:00.000-04:00

*The following post was written earlier this year. I remember this night vividly. I felt as though I was collapsing into myself... and didn't know how to get back out. God was dishing out a tribulation I had no idea how to handle and it was becoming bigger and harder as time went on. I was overwhelmed. The only way I was able to get it out, was taking a pen to paper...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My hands won't stop shaking, my nerves are irritated, my tear ducts are numb but have a longing to fill up and spill over. My mind won't stop pacing... back and forth it ponders one thought or another. It won't be still - it just keeps pacing until it's worn a groove in the mush of my thoughts. More and more thoughts fall into the ditch, keeping the pacing going.

A 100 desires. A 1000 faults. A 1,000,000 questions.
Not a bit of clarity. 0 answers. Plenty of 2nd guesses. Lack of faith. Hurt feelings. Lost moments. Altered emotions. Expectations. Insecurity. Regretted actions. Built up resentment. Unaware of certain roots. Unfulfilled longings.

What happens when half of your desires conflict with the other half? What are you supposed to do with that? How are you to balance it? Or is it more like sifting through them and finding which ones are the most important? Why are some of them even in existence? I wrestle having certain desires - I desire something, but I don't want to desire it, but I do - but it gets in the way of something I want even more.
I’ve yet to find the solution to this.

Self discovery (and not the corny nonsense "I'm going to find myself by leaving everything I know") - in the sense that God decides to widen your eyes by showing you your many gifts, various flaws - how you hurt people and what kind of love you give. He points out how He created you different from everyone else and enlightens you to just how similar people are. That sort of self discovery is some of the most difficult, wonderful, terrifying, painful, beauteous stuff to go through.
It affects every atom of your being - your thoughts, your actions, your conversations. It affects those around you and often in unpleasant ways. You want it to stop, but curiosity and knowing it'll help you see things from His perspective more clearly, won't let you slam on the brakes.

Therefore the pacing will continue.

it's time

2009-09-23T00:06:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since I've published anything I've written. I used to be really open through my writings... allowing my flaws and thoughts to be open to complete strangers. I don't know where I lost this openness... but I did. I buried it somewhere along the road I've walked the past couple years.
The past few years of my life have been chock full of ups and downs. I've been through things I wouldn't wish on anyone and hope to God I never have to experience again - because looking back I don't know how I got through them the way that I did! I can only praise God, because I know He used them for His glory (in His high and mighty ways I can't understand ;). He's also given me some of the biggest blessings and my most cherished relationships in this time as well... and those are things I would go through the pain all over again for.
For a while I used writing to express how I felt throughout the different paths I came across while walking life's road, but at one point I couldn't find the words to describe what was happening and so I just stopped.
God's been giving me the words over the past several months... and I've been writing them down. Some things were to hard to share publicly while I was going through them, but God is telling me to put them out there now. I don't know why... I'm sure it means He is going to use them for something... I hope I get to find out (because you know, sometimes He doesn't let us know and all)!
Either way - I'm excited! Some of them will be awfully hard to type in, but I know it'll be worth it if God is leading me to do it!

Hope you're all enjoying the fall weather! I'm in Florida... so I'm not getting to fall in love with my Indiana Autumn quite yet! But I'm super excited to, when I get back home! :)

a still peace

2009-04-23T22:43:00.002-04:00

I’m wrapped up in my fuzzy blanket, sitting on the front deck that was built by my brother and stepfather’s hands. The sun is setting leaving a dusky orange, pink streaked sky behind. A breeze is swaying the trees back and forth and twirling my daffodils around in circles. The voices and melodies of Iron and Wine, The Fray, Dave Matthews, and Jason Mraz are floating out the living room windows. I can smell rain on its way and feel an occasional splash of wet on my bare arms. My brother is telling me about the annoyance that comes from the squeaky noises his truck makes and we begin to banter about random things that make us laugh. There are two candles on either side of me, keeping the bugs at bay. My mom and sister just pulled up the driveway… my mom has brought home more Goodwill deals, some of which are for me – a book on wedding etiquette, one about finances, and another that will someday be of help when my children make me want to pull my hair out. I can’t help but chuckle as they are handed to me. The sun has sunk very low now, and looking above I see the dark silhouette of tree limbs against the dimly lit blue sky. Not a sound can be heard other than the wind causing tree branches to rub against each other and last year’s leaves rustle across the yard. The ring my lover gave to me sparkles in the candlelight… an overwhelming sense of security wells up in me.

It feels like the world has slowed to a peaceful still…. It’s finally learned to slow down. Or maybe I’m the one that has finally learned that lesson.

…………..

I’ve lingered… watching the candle flames cast dancing shadows about my feet, feeling the breeze blow through my messy hair, and shutting my eyes while listening to one of the most captivating sounds I know.

It hasn’t been five minutes, but already the world has slipped into an even quieter place. Twilight has taken hold and turned the sky a shade of blue that I can only describe as the color of blueberries. The horizon has a hazy white glow with hints of sepia streaked through it from the previous sunset. The wind picks up causing creaking noises… the noises you only seem to hear at night or when you are in the dark. The only lights are those of our next door neighbor’s porch lights and the bright light coming from our dining room window. The candles have been snuffed out by the swift shots of wind.

There is not a more serene way to end a day than watching it all naturally unfold, as God puts everything to rest.

It may just become a new habit of mine.

my nemesis

2009-01-28T22:54:00.001-05:00

There are very few things in life I hate.
Sin, food that causes me to sin by indulging too much, porta potties, and being sick.
I am sick today...and it's no fun.
I've only got out of bed to walk to the opposite side of my hallway to our bathroom a handful of times today... ug.
Now I'm in a different sort of pain - the pain that happens when you don't move for an extended length of time. The pain that comes when your mind feels it's turning to mush after watching as many re-runs of your favorite T.V. show and DVDs as you can fit into a day. The pain that comes for me when I feel like I just lost an entire day of my life... I've accomplished nothing. I've not made anyone smile. My little cream colored trash can is full of wadded up tissues....or rather toilet paper because we don't ever buy tissues! gah!! Which leads me to probably my most hated aspect of being down with some sort of illness.... the fact that my nose is missing an entire layer of skin and looks like Rudolph's nose!!! ug!
Why oh why am I sick - I really don't know. I haven't gone ANYWHERE this week - I've not been around people... where did it come from? and when will it leave?

ug... well... i really don't have a reason behind writing about my sickness loathing habits... it's just a way to pass the time i guess :p
thanks for reading :)

all bottled up

2009-01-26T13:43:00.002-05:00

I am a top notch bottler, when it comes to emotions, thoughts, stresses, things that bug me... I bottle them all up and won't let anything out. I may let on from time to time that things aren't quite right with me - but that's typically only when the bottle is full to the brim.

I bottle things up daily and won't let on a bit... but after days and days of bottling, not much more can fit in and it has to get out one way or another.

There are a few people - and I mean VERY few people who actually get to see and hear and know what's in those bottles. There are less of those people that i will open up to on my own (and that's something that takes time), only two or three people who can get it out of me by prodding and only one person who can read me so well they can sense it from 311 miles away! I really don't quite know how he does it... I end up stunned everytime.

Something from the bottle will come to mind during a lull in our conversation and all of the sudden I'll hear the words "so what are you thinking?". I can deny that I'm thinking anything out of the ordinary, I can spurt out the thoughts that were on my backburner and he'll continue to poke around the foamy bubbles at the top of the bottle until I pour the entire bottle out - into the glass he's willingly holding. He actually wants to find out what's in there... no matter how scary or off the wall it may be - he wants to know all of it. There's something a bit frightening about letting the bottle pour all the way out and trust someone with all the remains but it's also wonderful to know the remains of all my many (past, present, and I'm sure future) bottles are safe with him.

No matter how hard I fight it, I know all along that I needn't fear him condemning me over getting so upset or worked up over something and I never need worry that what makes me sad or want to cry will be a joke to him. All he fills my empty bottle with is understanding, grace, hope, and love. A lot like Jesus.

I hadn't even thought of that when setting out to write this, but the more I elaborate on my thoughts the more they are reminding me of things I could be saying about my Savior! Jesus takes us as we are and wants us to tell Him all the details. He wants us to open all of our bottles - all the deep emotions and feelings and just pour them out to Him.

Wow! that's a pretty thrilling realization!!! This is just one more instance that the love of my life - Barry, is a picture of Jesus to me! :) haha... I'm not gonna get over it! God blows me away with the gift he has given me!

Being With Him

2008-12-08T07:47:00.000-05:00

Sitting alone in the dark in the wee hours of the morning can be a good time to think. i haven't went to bed yet and it's nearing 7am. Lately I haven't been sleeping... as in, my body/mind just won't shut down, I get in my comfy pajamas, snuggle under the covers, hug my pillow and nothing. I just lay there for hours tossing back and forth, waiting for sleep, but ending up disappointed.
It occurred to me tonight - errrr this morning....this wee hour of the morning when most of the working world is hitting the snooze button and I've yet to set my alarm to get up - that I haven't been taking care of myself properly. I'm not talking about nutritionally (although I haven't been doing the greatest job with that either :P), I'm talking about spiritually. I haven't been as disciplined in hanging out with Jesus and spending time getting to know Him and hearing what He thinks of me (aka reading the handy instruction book / love letter He's left for us called: The Bible), nor have I really chilled out and just taken the time to talk to Him about what's been going on in my life or my loved ones lives (aka praying). I've been getting busier and busier since... well really since I graduated high school. It's been a crazy six months - an amazing six months, but I haven't kept my first love as close to me as I could've. He's given me some of the biggest blessings of my life in the past half year and although I've kept Him near and thanked Him over and over again for all of the joys He's been bestowing on me... I could've taken more time to just be with Him, and that breaks my heart. He's been with me... but I haven't really been with Him (if that makes sense). Like any relationship - it's give and take. I've been taking more so than I've been giving. And God being the incredible lover He is, has just kept on giving.
Because of this, I've seen changes in my attitude, the vibe i give off to people, and that i don't have my passion at the tip of my tongue anymore. It's because I've been letting my passion sink further and further inside, instead of nourishing it so that it can be seen and radiate from me. I'm tired and done with that. It shouldn't matter how busy I am...
Now what does all of this have to do with my sleep patterns you may be wondering ay? Well I'll tell you my conclusion (at now 7:30am)...
When you're spending time with your Creator, Lover, and Savior....your soul will be at a greater peace and in turn your person - which therefore means your body and mind as well :) Simple as that. I just know. I've been here before several times in my walk with the Lord... and my body in one way or another will start giving signs that I'm not at the state of peace I could be. Then I know it's time for a change... even if I can't slow down or change what's going on in my life - I can remedy the problem..... by drawing closer to my Savior, by giving Him my all - all my anxieties, pressures, problems, joys, trials, giggles, and by spending time with Him. It just makes life smoother - by giving to Him. He will take care of me better than anyone and when I give it all up, I don't have things to keep me up at night! It's a pretty great system!
During this crazy holiday season and the day to day busness that overtakes lives at one time or another, remember to not just keep Jesus nearby, but to actually stop and spend some time with Him. You can go to church, small groups, "spiritual functions", be with uplifting Christian friends all you want, but if you're not stopping to just BE WITH HIM, then you're missing out - you could be oh so much closer with Christ if you would just spend time just the two of you. So go off into a quiet corner, or out in the open outdoors - go somewhere to just BE WITH HIM and spend time talking to Him and letting Him speak to you! Do it everyday!
alright I'm out! the sun is rising and the peace from spending time with Jesus just a bit ago is starting to kick in ;) so I'm gonna try to sleep for a couple of hours and get up ready to spend more time with the King and Keeper of my heart! :)

a list of things that bless my every day

2008-11-16T17:25:00.002-05:00

Here's just a *short* list of the amazing things God has given me, does for me, blesses me with, the things that just make my heart dance and keep dancing even when i'm down! My bosom buddy over at http://www.funandfaithful.blogspot.com/ made a list of 50 blessings and I'm stealing the idea :) of course my lengthy writing syndrome quirk wouldn't allow me to stop at 50... i kept on going! haha!! They are in no particular order, although i definitely saved some of the best for last! :)

1. eating the largest swirl ice cream cone at dairy queen
2. holding barry's hand
3. riding in the car with my big brother matt
4. photography... capturing things from a different perspective, seeing pictures taken from a person's unique angle, capturing the beauty of God's creation and man's creativity
5. when mical and i get to laughing so hard that it takes a good 10 minutes to calm all the way down... we just start laughing over something and get to laughing so hard about it, that we then start laughing even harder over how hard we're laughing... that ya.. we just have a hard time stopping! :)
6. the fact that i'm 'adopted' by the Cooks/Adamsons - "my second family" :)
7. i love breaking people of their non-touchyness - they just can't resist once they get an emily hug! lol! ;)
8. singing along with the radio in the car with barry especially when we start bopping around and being goofy! haha!
9. my toes and fingers make me smile - they are cute!
10. dates with my brother josh are always fun
11. being married to kim - she's the best wifey poo ever! :)
12. when helen randomly gives me head rubs and massages
13. watching Jason and Melissa together - their relationship never ceases to make me smile
14. big brotherly advice from Adam - he's great at it!
15. being slapped on the rear by rachael - the only friend i will allow to do that! haha!
16. being called 'em' is my favorite!
17. the fact that i'm a dork... i'm glad that i am, it just makes life more fun!
18. finally being able to hop in my car and just go whenever i like! i just love driving around and doing things - it doesn't even matter what it is... as long as i have a period of time to drive with the music cranked and the windows down i'm happy!
19. i love God's creativity in every sunset and sunrise!
20. wearing rachael's pajamas
21. kayla miller. nothing more needs said - she's just amazing! the fact that she tells her friends that i'm her "big sister" ,her constant hugs, and her telling me "i love you emily" rocks my world!
22. feeling barry play with my hair or tuck it behind my ear :)
23. the way maggie's face lights up when she smiles or laughs at Jared
24. hearing "hello beautiful" on the other side of the phone when i call barry :)
25. giggling with brittney schulz about "things" ;)
26. when i find really good buys shopping :) it just makes my day!
27. making Matt "blush" - it's so great! i enjoy being able to do it! kheehee!!
28. smiles from Lawana - she has the sweetest smile ever :)
29. Barrett - he's one of the few kids who don't intimidate me and talking with him is like talking with a long lost friend! OH and his laugh makes me all warm inside!
30. spending time with "my girls" and watching them want to learn more about and grow in Jesus - it excited me just about more than anything!
31. heart to hearts with Uncle Mikey and Auntie Jen - their love for me and wisdom they give makes everything better when i'm feeling down!
32. when barry starts talking about our relationship.... i get to cheesing pretty big :) especially when he goes into the puzzle piece aspect of us :)
33. jared wade. he's an amazing friend who seems to just be looking for ways to be an even more incredible friend to me!
34. James' and my little inside joke that we give each other looks about and just randomly start cracking up and noone else knows what's going on :)
35. listening to Petrie talk - i just looooove her voice and laugh :)
36. the letter i have from Jason - i'll keep it forever!
37. when Melissa creeps up from behind me and gives me a big hug! they are one of my most favorite hugs in all the world!
38. when God very clearly speaks to me on a subject that i don't know how to handle and He's just spells it out... it's the coolest thing ever!
39. the way Josh never fails to find me before bed and tell me goodnight :)
40. when people give comments on my pictures on facebook :)
41. when i don't procrastinate on something - it makes me feel good! lol!
42. hearing my mom, dad, or jerry pay me a compliment infront of other people... it always makes me smile really big :)
43. chats with Josh Taylor... the guy never ceases to crack me up!
44. long talks with Myssi about everything under the sun & her giving me loving big sisterly advice
45. Charlotte Burtt's laughs. and just Charlotte all around - she's my second mom!
46. Paige Miller's personality
47. Being at the Miller's and the Burtt's home's.... they feel like i'm at home :)
48. "the list" barry and I have going :)
49. pajama pants :)
50. when i look at barry looking at me and can see in his eyes and facial expression that he loves me
51. when Mical gets her childlike giggly look on her face - it's absolutely beautiful!
52. i love when people come up with their own nicknames for me :)
53. hearing a song that it's lyrics describe so perfectly what you're going through that day that it's almost like you wrote the song yourself!
54. sunsets over the ocean are one of the most beautiful pieces of creation EVER!
55. i get SO much pleasure when i can make someone laugh
56. my "19 things i love about you" book that Mical made me for my b'day - i have it sitting on my dresser so i can read one page everyday!
57. being crafy... i love sitting and making something ordinary into something beautiful!!
58. pictures with my friends and those i love, make me happy!
59. Psalm 73:25,26 has been one of THE greatest comforts and strengths God has ever given me in His Word!
60. seeing flowers bloom in Spring - simply watching the earth wake back up after it's been asleep so long!
61. when Josh initiates hugging me - usually when i'm down, sad, or crying.... it just makes things better to have him holding me :)
62. feeling the sunshine on my skin on a breezy day
63. one of my most peaceful feelings comes from listening to Alison Krauss' voice
64. Pride and Prejudice is my comfort movie
65. listening to High School Musical tunes with Sara Burtt
66. vacations to Pensacola Florida
67. worship time at Calvary and Southside Bible... i get goosebumps sometimes :)
68. getting to know people, whether i've known them for a long time or a short time - i love getting to know people's hopes, quirks, flaws, and personalities better :)
69. freedom in Christ is the most wonderful and freeing thing i have ever experienced!
70. forgiveness - knowing i'm wiped clean by the grace and mercy of God allows me to live life in joy!
71. the freedom that comes from knowing i'm powerless and God is omnipotent and soverign over all that happens - the good, the bad, the exciting, the sad, - EVERYTHING!
72. being able to say the name of my savior - JESUS - without fear
73. stalking my friends at their workplaces ;) lol!
74. knowing i am loved
75. being given so many 'hearts of my own heart' in the amazing people God has placed in my life - my close friends!
76. knowing i can trust God to provide all of my needs... even when i'm flat out broke - He always provides and knocks my socks off in the ways He chooses to do it! :)
77. the biggest blessing in this life is knowing i belong to Jesus and He is mine!

a fast song...

2008-10-21T23:21:00.003-04:00

so i love being busy, going places, doing things, hanging with friends, even working....but i have already begun and am not even half way through an insane week >>>>>

Sunday - sleep in from getting NO sleep; brown county/nashville IN with james, matt, kim, brittney then over to james' apt; spend night at my dad's - don't get in until 12:30
Monday - work all day - cleaning; have a 'meeting' for two hours; dinner with dad
Tuesday - take Katie's Senior pics.... stay out from NOON - 8pm
Wednesday - lunch and makeup date with mags; big gathering to go to for a few hours directly following; hang with mical directly following at her house
Thursday - work all day - cleaning; get bridesmaid dress altered and hang with Pet
Friday - work on Katie's pictures; go see movie with rachael; higher ground?
Saturday - work all day - babysitting from 8-9
Sunday - church and fall fun

Monday - collapse.... :)

the music is playing really fast this week.... and it's all i can do to keep up... but i don't want to just keep up - i want to flow with it... but i can't unless i find time for *quality* time with my Jesus - my dance teacher! Quality is the key word here.... i NEED it! during the fast songs of life - we all need to remember to keep spending QUALITY time with our teacher!
...i guess i'd like to ask for a little prayer on this one.... pray that i make that quality time priority! :) thanks! :)

trippin up & latte's

2008-10-19T00:29:00.003-04:00

The past couple of days have been days that my heart couldn't stop tripping and stumbling in it's effort to dance. It wanted to dance, it has reasons to dance... but alas... the pain of life sometimes trips it up even if it is dancing to the beat of God's heart.
I didn't know what to do or how to fix this problem - i needed to dance... my heart needed to keep dancing, to keep in rhythm with tune God was playing. I had prayed and cried out to God to help me and God being the Abba daddy He is, picked me up and taught me the steps to the new tune He had introduced in my life at this time. After i picked up on the steps He had added in, I was able to dance again... not as well as I had been dancing to the tune He had been playing for me the past couple months, but i was dancing... I was smiling again. :)
Still sometimes even if there is a smile and you're dancing you still are at a loss to understand the new dance steps... you still question, you still need to talk them out, you need to find the other ways of learning them. This is what i needed last night. I needed someone to talk them out with, someone to ask 'what the heck?', someone who would hug me and tap the new steps out with me.
I had no clue who that was, i had no idea who to ask, i was beside myself for some company - someone to talk to about these new dance steps. I just grabbed my keys and headed out, praying for the right person to come to mind. God took care of it (as He always does if we pay attention). One of my very best friends wanted to see what i was up to for the evening. As soon as I got the text I knew that was who i needed to be with and talk things out with. So i grabbed some latte's and headed over to chill with her.
It was AWESOME! It was a God thing! It was set up by Jesus - and not only for me - but for her too! We talked for hours about the new dance steps both of us were having to learn and "coincidentally" (not!) they were both very similar! We not only smiled, we made each other laugh, shared deep parts of our hearts, and even teared up a few times! It was just what the "dance teacher" ordered - a heart-to-heart to set us back in rhythm! :)
So i still don't have these steps down quite yet... but i'm pretty sure I'll catch on quick with God's guidance and the understanding of a friend!
So when life trips you up, keep talking to the "dance teacher" - asking for help and allow Him to help you through the love of "other students"

p.s. Praise God for friendships - God given, God set up, God centered friendships! They are like no other thing on earth! :)

~~ soaring ~~

2008-10-10T00:05:00.005-04:00

Ever have one of those days that your heart is just soaring? Mine was flying so high today that I was able to get up [before] the crack of dawn, work for 10 hours, and stay up til.. well now. :) which is an 18 hour day thus far! lol!
God gave me a visual reminder of how everything else that can give us the soaring feeling falls short of just how AWESOME soaring with Him is!
I was chasing the sun this morning on my way to work. As the sun finally got to the point in the sky where it isn't blinding you, but is casting it's glow in your car windows, I noticed an airplane way way up high moving along on it's way.... then all of the sudden 3 big groups of birdies all started soaring up and curving around and swooping down and going every which way (i believe it was a heaven orchestrated dance ;). I thought - oh man!!! that's how i feel, that's how i feel! Unlike the plane that just goes up with a big shot and then comes right back down much the same way... I'm soaring high, even though I'm going every which way and am even having down swoops - God's still got my heart singing and soaring!!! It was one of the most beautiful reminders of how God keeps me going through the ups, downs, and side paths that arise in daily life! He still keeps that smile imprinted on my heart! I'm able to soar at a moment's notice if I'm following His lead! :)
When you get down and out, when life just isn't going the way you wish it would, when things arise that you really have no power in changing them to the way you would have them go... just remember - God is right there having everything go down just as He chooses! He's ready and willing to give you the wings to soar if you're willing to trust Him with the path He'll take you down!

Isaiah 40:29-31..... mount up with wings like eagles (notice we can only do this if we WAIT on the Lord... wait on His lead people and you can soarrrrrr!!!! YAY!!!!!!!! :) :) :) )

sooooo

2008-10-05T15:54:00.004-04:00

So ya, i changed my blog name and everything....
i'm in a mood.
i already feel weird enough writing a blog.... and it just makes it more awkward and difficult for me to have to follow a theme.........
SO.
i have changed the theme to life.
and fyi, incase you don't have a Bible handy here's what the verses up above say...
Psalm 30:11&12
"You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, To the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks to You forever."
Psalm 34:18
"The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit."
Psalm 73:25&26
"Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
Job 5:18
"For He bruises, but He binds up; He wounds, but His hands make whole."

These verses are the rhythm and beat of life. It's just how it goes.... We all have mourning, brokenness, bruises, and wounds - BUT, He will give us dancing, gladness, strength, wholeness, and will bind us up!

So that is what i will write about..... and give glory to Him for - the dancing He places in my heart despite the bruising He also gives! The joys that come regardless of the mournings! The ultimate gift in Him making me whole by His sacrifice! :)

bits of this 'little' weekend

2008-09-29T03:36:00.000-04:00

i just got through a weekend chock full of little things God chose to gave me! Lots and lots of little smiles!
One of the bigger little things was Friday night i pulled up to my bosom buddy Mical's house to find that a surprise b'day party was being thrown for myself and Jared (who share the same b'day - another little thing that makes me smile! haha!)! MAN! I smiled all the way up the drive..... i was just shaking my head saying - you've got to be kidding me! what? what?
haha! it totally turned my mood around! :)
I would just like to state that i possess the most amazing friends in the world - EVER! PERIOD! the love they show me on an almost daily basis astounds me as to why God chooses to put such incredible people in my life! *sigh*
A lot of things made this night SO great! One of them being my honeybun Rachael Miller and big brother Matt Harris came! they were a b'day gift in and of themselves! these two are my friends closest to my age and for that they just hold a special place in my life b'cuz the three of us are just getting started in life, figuring things out, growing in Jesus out on our own and it's awesome to share that with them! It was a joyous "run to each other and suffocate the other with a hug" reunion with rachie and of course a big matt harris hug!
Once home i got to look at all my wonderful cards and gifts that my friends had so sweetly decided to give me and every one of them put a HUGE smile on my face!
a couple of them stood out as simple things that ended up being amazing things for me just because of my quirky personality! haha!
Mical being the incredible encourager and amazing friend she is made me a homemade flip book of things she loves about me which is pretty much the coolest thing ever b'cuz now whenever i need a boost or a reminder of if i'm loved - i have a whole booklet of them! :)
Rachael made me a card with pictures of some of my favorite things in all of my favorite colors! Things like a [Pink] Jeep Wrangler, a [Turquoise] drum, [Spring Green] Guitar, [Pink] volleyball, Sunset on a beach, Bible verses, etc and then wrote me some of the sweetest things i've ever read! *sigh* i nearly cried! haha! it was AWESOME and yet so simple! a homemade card! but it's for sure something i will cherish the rest of life God grants me to do so!!!!
Finally one more simple gift and then i think i'll turn in for the night... because the night is no longer young! gah! pulling another 3amer! ;)
Matt got me some hummus.... there is a good ol' back story to this one that makes it even that much more fun and GREAT! but i won't go into it here! :) Anyway... this haha! it sounds funny... but it's on my list of greatest gifts ever! it made me so happy and laugh so hard that Matt will forever be associated with hummus in my mind! lol!!!
There were many other things that my friends did and said that made this a big smiley night.... but because my friends are just so GREAT it would take forever plus a day to write about all of them and i need some beauty sleep! ;) haha!!

Ok... one last thing...
i just have to tell you how amazing the invention of weekend minutes for cell phones are! they are simply the greatest thing ever! i was able to make three or four random phone calls down to TN to talk to my wonderful guy Barry for about 10 minutes at a time! it was GREAT!!! Praise God for nifty weekend minutes! lol! it added a lot of extra smiles to my weekend to not have to wait until 10pm to regain sanity! ;)

alllllright! i'm out!
God is ever amazing and constant and in every little thing in life! it's frustrating to me, because being with Him isn't as complicated as so many make it out to be it doesn't always have to be super spiritual things that draw you closer to Him - spending time with and getting closer to Jesus can simply be enjoying His presence in daily life and having Him walk beside you through your daily routine! He's with you all the time, why not act like it?!?! :)
I'm so honored to have Him walking right along side me every moment of the day and humbled at all the blessings He pours upon me continuously! Keeping Him close by and looking through His eyes.... will make you see things in a whole new light! :) You should try it...

yep...... like i said i'm sleepy.... but i wanted to make sure you know - Our God is AWESOME!!!!!

i love you, goodnight

2008-09-11T01:04:00.000-04:00

So speaking of 'little things' ;)
my night always ends with a smile because of a little thing my brother does for me each night before bed!
Every night no matter what is going on or even if we've had a bit of a tiff that night... my brother who is 'pure awesomeness' will always come to my bedroom and say 'i love you' and then 'goodnight'! It absolutely makes my life so much sweeter just with that little thing he does each (and every) night! Often times he'll stick around on or standing near my bed and just talk to me about life.... it means a lot! My brother shows me Jesus by his selflessness on a moment-by-moment basis - REALLY!!! HE REALLY DOES!!! He's like the best brother in the world and one of my best friends! I can't imagine my life without his love and friendship! He's the best!
He does oh so many other 'little things' that i could write a whole separate blog about... entitled 'why Josh is awesome' or 'tales of brotherly love' or 'why my brother is the best' .... yep!!! haha!!! but because he is such a humble guy, i'm not sure he'd be too excited! LOL!
so yep, i have the most amazing brother a girl could ask for, he's truly a gift from God and i have no idea what life would be like without him... he's my best buddy who i do just about anything and everything with!
just wanted to share the awesomeness of my (not so) lil brother with ya!

To: You.... here's a smile :) From: God

2008-09-09T02:08:00.000-04:00

It was a tough day... not gonna lie, it just was.... but prayer and just God period is always amazing comfort in those times as well as the little things he'll do through others to touch your heart.
After a "laugh so you don't cry" sort of day i ran into one of my best friends online who just wanted to talk to me about it and be there for me. Just having him listen, even if he didn't have all the answers... (although he had a lot), and him wanting to talk about it and genuinely looking for a way to place a smile on my face meant the world! It means a lot when God is like here - i'm sending the exact person you need, to put a smile on your face b'cuz i know you're having a rough time of it today.
Whenever anyone genuinely wants to listen and talk with me and pray for me about something that i'm dealing with it always lifts me up a few notches just knowing they want to (even before it takes place).... it's one of my favorite little things that God gives.... when a friend seeks to put a smile on your face! It's awesome!!!
Job 5:18 For He bruises, but He binds up; He wounds, but His hands make whole.
and somewheres in the Bible it says something to the affect of~ You have turned my mourning to dancing!!!!! both of those ARE JUST PLAIN AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really want to encourage you to be the person in someone's life that seeks to place a smile on their face.... those kind of friends are irreplaceable!!! and they're gifts from above!

Big Things!

2008-09-08T01:18:00.000-04:00

I just want to say that even tho the name of this blog is called 'the little things' and God definitely works with 'little things'.... in my experience - He usually just blows me away! His little things are BIG things.... AMAZING things... at just the right time if you're in the mindset to see them! It's awesome - He's awesome!!!!
I've had a few downers pop up in the past couple weeks and just sort of lie around and pile up until I had the time to realize they were definitely still there, they weren't gonna dissappear! man. stink.
But God just totally blew my mind with a bunch of little things today, even after a few more downers came.... He just blew me away tonight going, "emily, here.... just pay attention, look at what i'm placing in your lap, look at what's going on in this situation, trust me in this situation and it'll be easier, JUST HERE>>>>LOOK!!!! I'M GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and He is!!! He's taking my life in a bunch of new directions all at one time right now, and even tho if i look at it in a certain mindset it's entirely overwhelming, intimidating, and somewhat frightening.... looking at it in a different light, it's simply HE'S GOD and has my life and me in His hands - under control!!!! It's basically exhilarating!!!! So i'm excited!!!! :)
Just a bunch of God's little blessings rolled up into this HUGE burrito of BIG AMAZING WONDERFUL GOD THINGS!!!!!!

haha... ok that's all ;)

the reason

2008-09-05T03:01:00.000-04:00

hey all!
so let me explain the reason for my sudden blogging (i've never been interested in this).
#1 Two of my friends suggested it
#2 I go on and on about things... so figured hey, maybe i could do this thing :)
#3 To share all the little things that touch my heart that God blesses me with each and every day
#4 (which is actually #1...) it's just another way I can raise His name high, which is my life song and aim!!

Now let me warn you... i don't use proper ways of writing most of the time... i really don't like capitalizing things... in fact i don't like my name capitalized! i'm terrible at looking over my work and correcting typos and spelling... so you may learn deciphering techniques through reading my blog (won't that be fun? it's a skill you can add to your list! haha!). I also just like to write things out the way i would say it in person... so often it's grammatically incorrect! haha!! but that's ok... you can deal with it ;)

To be honest... my postings are going to be really sporadic... someone who knows me about as much as anyone said that i would either post 100's of pages at a time or nothing.... and that couldn't be closer to the truth! I'm extremely lengthy if i get going... but often times i'm content to be silent. This will show up in my writing no doubt :)

in the end tho.... i'm just goofy, in love with Jesus Christ and these will definitely show up! :) i pray whatever comes forth from me will bring encouragement, smiles and joy to your hearts and set your mind on things above!